RUSHING! KILLER SPAM SCAM PORN FLOOD COMING!

Hold on tight, folks, because a massive tsunami of spam is about to slam down on your mail. We're talking atrocious amounts of phony emails packed with sick porn. These scumbags are trying to cheat you out of your hard-earned cash, so be extremely careful. Don't click on any buttons in these emails, and flag them immediately. Be smart! Dang